When I get home my wife always pretends to be dead

Germany x reader
When I get home my wife always pretends to be dead
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Another song fic that I think should exist. It’s such a cute vocaloid song!
Enjoy!

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It was a very long battle of 3 years. You had to gun down many foes despite your feelings. It was your duty as a citizen of your count-

NOOO!

You were shot right square in the chest just as you were about to make your move. You fell down to the ground with your blood pooling everywhere on the ground. You took out the note written to your husband and that you were going to send after this battle. You smiled one last time thinking of him and the great times you had with him as you slowly made your way toward the light.


Five minutes later of your passing, Ludwig staggered in his apartment tired only to find his lovely wife dead on the floor with a note in her hand. He picked it up eyeing how much blood was on the floor. He sighed. It was going to be hard taking the blood stains out in the rug.

My dearest Ludwig,

How is our little angels doing? I’d bet they has grown since the last time I last saw them. Tell Blackie, Berlitz, and Asher I send them my love. Anyway, I learned that I have earned a short break and is coming home next month. When I come home, can you make your favorite schnitzel and Käse Spätzel ? Oh! I promise to do the dishes this time!

Love,

(Name) xoxoxo

P.S.

Can we have some cake too?


The German sighed. “(Name)? What I’m a going to do with you? You used a bit too much blood this time. Help clean it up please… then I’ll make supper.”

He can see you holding in laughter but eventually falling. As sat up with toy gun in hand, you started telling your husband about your downfall.  He wanted to hug her, but he rather not ruin a nice shirt.  He kissed your forehead before getting the cleaning supplies.

You talked about how you are getting another outfit ready for another day as you help get the blood stains out of the rug that it accidently leaked over too. It was a gift from his parents. Ludwig glanced up at you when you were busy scrubbing one particular spot and let a small smile be shown upon his face.

Ever since he got this big promotion at his job at the office after he was married, he hasn’t been able to spend much time with (Name) like he use to.  They always went to the beach to catch the sunset or had driven all over just for the heck of it. He didn’t intend to stay late or travel to other countries for a period of time; he just had to provide for the family. At the beginning of this routine, his older brother would come to visit keeping her company, but now that he had a family of his one,  he and his family visited during the holidays.  So it must be lonely here, even with their three dogs.
Once done, Ludwig began cooking supper, wishing it was his turn to cook when an ancient warrior shot (Name) in the head. He was also relieved that his co-works / friends didn’t come over that one time she had a knife stuck in her back. That would have been a very stressful night with a hyperventilating Italian and questioning police.  He chuckled to himself just thinking about it.

During supper, (Name) was happily talked about her next death. It was going to be a very special one. Then out of the blue, she asked one question.
The question.

“Luddy, can we have some kids?”

He nearly choked on his cabbage. Kids.  Ludwig stared at his beloved wife, as she grew more nervous.

“Of course (Name)! But why now out of the sudden? One of your plans like the dog attack?” he said thinking back when you wanted to get a third dog.

“No reason.”  She said stuffing her mouth with the German mac and cheese and started another topic with her husband.


On the way home the next day, another ghostly smile appeared on the German as he pondered how his lovely wife died today. Maybe this time it would be an over dose or maybe even suffocation. He’s personal favorite was yesterday’s solider act. But judging by the surprising question from yesterday, it would have to relate to babies. Oh goodness he hoped she didn’t attempt to do that.

But either way, no mattered how she died, he still loves her quirky hobby and her all together. It was just another way they expressed their love for each other. “Til Death Do I Part”  they had recited at their wedding and to this day,  he would continue to love (Name) and give all  his love to her and vise versa til one of them part for real.
When he finally arrive home, he found fake glass broken everywhere, a trail of blood coming from the bathroom and a bloody (Name), only wrapped with a towel around her body, dead on the ground. It was one of her best yet, but he decided not to praise her on this one just in case she goes overboard with the next one.

“Come on, (Name) let’s clean you up and take care of this mess.” He sighed   and kissed your bloody forehead.

What a fun, wonderful life he has.